Wednesday, October 21, 2009


The past two days have been consumed entirely by anxiety, and being anxious for two days is rather tiring.
I have also been whimsically high these past few days, feeding off positivity and happiness. I do believe however, that this incredible up could be coming to an end. I still feel content, but my mood appears to be calming to a more placid state of mind.

Today brought wonderful happiness and relief. I found out that I made the school captain shortlist. Only one more week until all anxieties are gone.

I'm reading this interesting book at the moment. The main character reminds me a bit of myself, apart from the fact that she's pregnant.
She categorises people in two groups: Stars and Moons. Stars make their own light, and shine wherever they go. Moons on the other hand, borrow light, and reflect light.
She's in a relationship with someone because he's attractive.
She can't say no because she likes the attention.
She doesn't see this as wrong, or at least she doesn't admit it.
But she has this fixation with astronomy, with space, and with the universe. But not in a scientific way, in a poetic way.

I haven't finished the book yet, but look forward to it.

I have now decided, from what i've read so far, that I would like a telescope in my garden. I would love to spend nights on end watching the heavens. Escaping somewhere that no man has ever been before. A place that we cannot comprehend but can only conceive through imagination. Worldly problems would be left insignificant in the wake of this exploration. I could be free.

I've always looked at the mountains that surround The Gap and felt the urge to reach their summits, to climb over them. I've always felt as though they trapped me here. I know the suburbs that lie beyond, I've been there many millions of times. But I can't help but stare at those ridges at awe and wonder if one day, I will ever be free. Free to experience life beyond those mountains, beyond that barrier. Free to live my life.

Just another everyday fairytale,
Erin x


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