Saturday, October 17, 2009


I woke. It was a clear, spring morning, cloudless and fresh in every aspect. The air was still cool, but I knew it would heat up. The first thing that I laid my eyes upon was my bedroom. The state of my room usually reflects the state of my life-this morning, it was a mess. I reached groggily to my bedside table and picked up 'Northanger Abbey' by Jane Austen. I had started reading it the previous night, after finishing 'Jane Eyre'. I read.

After breakfasting and getting in a few more chapters of Northanger Abbey, the labourous task of cleaning began. It did not end until once again, the floor of my room could be seen, and the top of my desk had been found.

I then surrended to the mountain of work, at the foot of which i stood. It began with navigating the perils and bore of a biology EEI. It was all-consuming. Science is of great interest to me, however, biology assignments are the continual source of undue stress and life-unravelling anxiety. My last one caused me to suffer from a horrid fit of screaming, throwing and tears. The event can not be soon long forgotten.

The day transformed, like my newly tidyed bedroom, into a somewhat less stressful day than first percieved. However, when experiencing one of these less stressful (I was almost tempted to write 'happy') days, the joys of being up and not down are bittersweet, because once you are up, you know that you can only go down. And down I shall soon go, for many more hardships lie ahead.


It happens on Tuesday.

What could become the beginning of a positive, fruitful future, or the dismal abyss of a blackhole will begin on Tuesday.

School captain speeches.

I am prepared for any outcome, for I know any outcome is possible.
But i'm still allowed hope
I'm still allowed to dream
I'm still allowed to reach for the stars,
aren't I?

We shall see.

Today was quite an enjoyable day, though it didn't see anything extrodinary. Any day that is not black is enjoyable. A breath of fresh air. Freedom.

I prayed today. I hadn't prayed for weeks. Maybe that is why I had gone so downhill. It is a habit I shall try to improve upon.

Just another everyday fairytale,
Erin x


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